'I felt ashamed as a woman after I lost my baby' Bez wife opens up on painful loss

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A young couple moved into a new neighbourhood. The next morning while eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbour through the window hanging the wash outside.

"That laundry is not clean," she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap".

Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time the neighbour would hang laundry to dry, the young woman would make the same
comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learnt how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this!"

The husband replied: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life.

What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

Easy to discuss other people, their lives and things that don't really concern us.

Yet we tend to forget- our window isn't that clean after all.

Clean up your window with the WORD! (THE TRUTH.)

LORD, please give us the strength, humility and courage that we may work on our faults first rather than seeing the faults in Others and castigating them.

Have a beautiful Week !

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Sep 29th 2015, 20:58

Today, I watched Bolatito Idakula, wife of singer Bez Idakula speak on the loss of her child and I could almost feel her pain through the TV. She was a guest on Moments on EbonyLife TV where she talked about how she dealt with the loss of the baby girl who died just a day after she was born in May this year, and dealing with the pain and disappointment that came afterwards.


Bolatito, who was sometimes in tears while narrating her experience, said she felt a little ashamed initially for not succeeding at childbirth unlike most of her friends who had successfully given birth before. I recorded her interview and transcribed some of the things she said after the cut...



"I felt like I lost a battle. Maybe I focused on the wrong things. I thought about the people that will have negative things to say. I had a bit of shame which is what happens to a lot of women,. They feel ashamed and a lot of my friends had had children successfully. So I thought why am I not the one having a child successfully? These were the things going through my mind. So I was very ashamed of myself. I felt ashamed. I felt like I lost a battle and I remember I was told that in this world, we are fighting a war and there are many battles in the war. but guess what, you have lost this battle, you will win the war. and I just held on to that and even till today I have held on to that, that I will win this battle and I will win this war"she said
On whether she suffered any form of blame game after the incident, Bolatito said she did initially, asking herself if there was something she did wrong while she was pregnant. The doctors reassured her it was nothing she did. It was a medical condition that was detected while she was pregnant.

Mrs Idakula said some relations even asked her if she drank while she was pregnant, while some questioned her about her lifestyle. Bolatito however says she got over the blame game by talking it through with her husband, writing a lot and also seeing a life coach.

On how she and her husband got through the experience, she said the grace of God and the fact that they were best friends
"Once again it is God's grace. My husband and I are friends. We are best friends. We could literally talk as friends, so there wasn't anytime I felt I couldn't be myself. We also understood each other. We deal with things differently. So I still had to do what I needed to do while he needed to do what he needed to do. We understood each other from our friendship"she said
She said she hopes to get pregnant again and hopes for the best the next time around.

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Revenge is a Poison meant for others, which we end up swallowing ourselves. Vengence is a Dark Light that blinds all who seek it. Don’t argue with Idiots.. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Source : http://www.coolnsmart.com/wise_quotes/

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